Played 3,123 times

allisonweiss:

bessblog:

“Touch My Booty” - Bess Rogers

I just had to send somebody the lyrics to this song (hidden track on my first album) and seeing them written out like this just made me realize that this may be the best piece of music I’ve ever made. Pure poetry. And Dan Romer’s rapping is… well there are no words. 

Touch My Booty.

(this song’s about butts)
(butts)
Touch my booty,
Make it real.
Touch my booty,
I like the way it feels. 
Touch my booty 
Make it real.
Touch my booty, 
Gettin’ all hot now. 
Booty touchin touch your booty
when I touch your booty
It’s a booty touchin toucha 
When I touch it just right. 
I’m gonna touch your booty 
With my booty touchin toucha
Cause I’m gonna touch your booty
With my hand, mutha fucka!
Touch my booty,
Make it real.
Touch my booty,
I like the way it feels. 
Touch my booty 
Make it real.
Touch my booty, 
I like the way it feels. 
Booty booty booty booty
Oooh that’s my booty
Booty booty booty booty
Oooh that’s my booty
Booty booty booty booty
Oooh that’s my booty 
Booty booty booty booty
Ow that’s my booty!
Touch my booty,
Make it real.
Touch my booty,
I like the way it feels. 
Touch my booty 
Make it real.
Touch my booty, 
Gettin’ all hot now. 
Touch my booty.
Touch my booty.
Butts. 
 

Truly the best butt song of our generation

saw this today. posted it on facebook. no one cared. i guess none of them agree that AWNINGS ARE COOL!!! they probably didn’t notice the shutter sunglasses

saw this today. posted it on facebook. no one cared. i guess none of them agree that AWNINGS ARE COOL!!! they probably didn’t notice the shutter sunglasses

People of Earth

2 things:

1. Don’t take vertical iPhone videos

2. Wait for your tattoo to heal a little before you post pictures. I’m never going to look at a shiny swollen pink-edged piece of new ink and say “yeah, that looks great”

3. Don’t take vertical iPhone videos

banked:

found this valentine i got in the 90s and it is going on my wall now

banked:

found this valentine i got in the 90s and it is going on my wall now

Earlier this morning in my class: “Kids, I have something to share today.” I fold my hands in front of my chest, a classic move of gentle authority. Show-and-tell has just wrapped up, and half the class is yyawning in preparation for math class. “You can’t share, Miss Harper. You’re the teacher.” “Yeah, teachers can’t share.” Stupid, stupid kids. “Well, then if you want to jump straight into math, let’s go ahead….” “Noooooooooooo.” Thank you, losers.

Jane Berenston, Long Division

I had never used shelf paper before. It wasn’t a poor college student necessity, but that morning as I moved my cereal boxes into ABC order, the thought of a lovely patterned floor on the shelf struck me as nice. Nice and organized. Put together. With it. A twenty-four-year-old with shelf paper is a twenty-four-year-old with her ducks in a row. If there had been a shelf paper at Home Depot with ducks on it, particularly ducklings, I surely would have chosen it. But as I stood there, debating the aesthetic future of the DARK INSIDES OF MY FUCKING PANTRY, I suddenly changed my mind. Who was I kidding? Shelf paper? What an indulgent waste. What a load of crap.

Jane Berenston, Long Division

teganintraining:

makeanewdanceup:

trqandskq:

Shout out to Emy for being perfect when it comes to designing album artwork

my GIF couldn’t have been put to better use. Bless.

these gifs are the reason i can’t right now

Daniel Owens Reed

is probably exactly the same person as Dannielle Owens Reed…but like…a dude

#shemisspoke #emerged